Title: The Paper Bag Princess

Authors: Robert Munsch

Themes: Communication, Coping Skills, Friendship, Humor, Individuation, Self-Esteem, Social Skills, Validation, Bullying

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School

Summary: The Paper Bag Princess is the story of Princess Elizabeth, who is engaged to be married to Prince Ronald, until Ronald is kidnapped by a dragon. Elizabeth is clever, strong, and courageous as she outwits the dragon and rescues Ronald. Ronald, however, then refuses to see Elizabeth until she is "dressed like a real princess." Elizabeth uses her wits, strength and courage to move on from that invalidating relationship!

Ideas / Interventions: This is a fun book to read when discussing social skills with younger kids. Have your client list important qualities they look for in friends; loyalty, kindness, sense of humor, common interests, etc. Then ask them to match those qualities with characters from the story and talk about times when they have noticed those traits demonstrated in others.

Another fun way to use this book is when talking about what it is like to feel misunderstood. For example, Elizabeth is a princess regardless of her appearance, but she is treated unfairly by Ronald because of how she looks after saving him from the dragon. How does this make her feel? Have you ever felt that your great qualities are overlooked by others, or have you ever felt misunderstood? 

Title: Words Are Not For Hurting

Authors: Elizabeth Verdick

Themes: Bullying, Communication, Coping Skills, Developing Empathy, Friendship, Parenting, Social Skills

Age Recommendation:  Pre-K through Elementary School

Summary: Words Are Not For Hurting is a very basic introduction to prosocial problem solving and social skills development. The text supports the concept that everyone feels frustrated or angry sometimes, and that there are appropriate ways to manage those emotions. The illustrations in the book provide examples of ways to use our words carefully and constructively. This is a good book to use in conjunction with the other title in this series, Hands Are Not For Hitting.

Ideas / Ideation: This is not a particularly interesting book for kids, but it is a great conversation starter. I have used this book in one-on-one sessions with children who struggle with impulsivity and anger, in small social skills groups when discussing how to express feelings, or in classrooms to teach about bullying. It's a handy book to have around, even if it is a little boring! 

Title: Hands Are Not For Hitting

Authors: Martine Agassi, Ph.D. 

Themes: Bullying, Communication, Coping Skills, Developing Empathy, Friendship, Parenting, Social Skills

Age Recommendation:  Pre-K through Elementary School

Summary: Hands Are Not For Hitting is a very basic introduction to prosocial problem solving and social skills development. The text supports the concept that everyone feels frustrated or angry sometimes, and that there are appropriate ways to manage those emotions. The illustrations in the book provide examples of ways to use our hands carefully and constructively. It is a good book to  use in conjunction with the other title in this series, Words Are Not For Hurting.

Ideas / Ideation: This is not a particularly interesting book for kids, but it is a great conversation starter. I have used this book in one-on-one sessions with children who struggle with impulsivity and anger, in small social skills groups when discussing how to express feelings, or in classrooms to teach about bullying. It's a handy book to have around, even if it is a little boring! 

Title: How Are You Peeling? Foods With Moods

Authors: Saxton Freeman & Joost Elffers

Themes: Autism, Communication, Developing Empathy, Friendship, Social Skills

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School 

Summary: How Are You Peeling? Foods With Moods is essentially a poem about feelings, illustrated with photographs of fruits and veggies wearing expressions that show their emotions perfectly. It is a fun read for anyone, but kids in elementary school seem to find it especially fascinating!

Ideas / Interventions: Learning to read body language and facial expressions is an important developmental task, as is becoming aware of emotions and feeling comfortable verbalizing them. I like to use this book as a way to introduce the basic communication skill of "I feel" statements. I also read this book with kids who struggle with pragmatic language ability; make a list of "feelings" words and have your clients match the word with the facial expression. 

Title: If You Give A Mouse A Cookie

Authors: Laura Joffe Numeroff

Themes: ADHD, Communication, Friendship, Parenting, Self-Esteem, Social Skills

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School 

Summary: If You Give A Mouse A Cookie is another classic! When the boy in this story offers his mouse friend a cookie, it sets off a chain reaction of tangential requests that leave the boy feeling exhausted and the mouse hungry for more.

Ideas / Interventions: Kids and parents "get" this book, but parents of kids with ADHD "really get" this book! As you read this book with clients, help them pay attention to the body language of the boy in the story. Ask them to say how they think the boy is feeling, what the boy might want to do, or how the mouse could help the boy instead of creating more work for him. Discuss basic social skills and how they relate to the mouse and boy in the book. 

Title: Duck! Rabbit! 

Authors: Amy Krouse Rosenthal & Tom Lichtenheld

Themes: Communication, Developing Perspective, Friendship, Individuation, Social Skills, Validation, DBT

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through High School

Summary: Duck! Rabbit! is the story of two friends who can't agree on what a cloud looks like. One sees a duck, the other sees a rabbit. Both friends have evidence to support their claim and both are sure their opinion is correct! In the end, both friends also change their minds and see what the other is seeing in the cloud.

Ideas / Interventions: This is a great, short book to read when introducing the concept of a dialectic, discussing how to validate another's perspective, or teaching social skills. When using this book with older kids, I like to acknowledge that it's "kind of little kid" but ask them to play along; this approach usually helps them feel less guarded in the discussion that follows. If possible, read this book with a teen and their parent; after reading the book together, ask them to discuss times when they may have fallen into the trap of arguing their point instead of listening to what the other person wants to share.

When using this book with younger children, I like to read the book twice; once before introducing a skill, and then again afterwards. When reading it the second time, ask the child to come up with alternative, validating responses to the back-and-forth arguing that the friends do in the book. After they have practiced the skill, have your client read the book and teach the skill to their parent(s). 

Title: A Splendid Friend, Indeed

Authors: Suzanne Bloom

Themes: Communication, Friendship, Social Skills

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School 

Summary: A Splendid Friend, Indeed is the story of an unlikely friendship. Bear is the classic introvert, Goose is the classic extrovert. With very few words and very engaging illustrations, we see the beginnings of a lasting friendship that develops despite their personality differences.

Ideas / Interventions: Read this book with clients as a way to start a discussion about friendship, communication skills, pragmatic language, and personality. 

Title: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Authors: Judith Viorst

Themes: Communication, Coping Skills, Developing Empathy, Developing Perspective, Parenting, Self-Esteem, Validation

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School 

Summary: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is a classic!  Most of us know this story by heart, but if it's new to you, definitely pick up a copy today!

Ideas / Interventions: Kids and adults alike can relate to Alexander. Everyone has had days like his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day! Read this with clients as a way to introduce the concept of calming and coping skills, practice expressing empathy for Alexander, or discuss the importance of validation. Having a bad day doesn't mean that you're having a bad life.

Title: Laugh Out Loud Jokes For Kids

Authors: Rob Elliott

Themes: Autism, Communication, Coping Skills, Social Skills, Self-Esteem, Humor

Age Recommendation:  Pre-K through Elementary School

Summary: Laugh Out Loud: Jokes For Kids isn't the only good joke book out there, (in fact it's one of two that I recommend on this blog), but it is full of clever and clean jokes delivered in a variety of formats from one-liners to knock-knock jokes. Humor is an important part of life! One of the most important ways that we connect with each other is through humor. It's also a great stress reliever and coping skill. 

Ideas / Interventions: Using humor in any session can reduce tension, strengthen your relationship with a client, and also model important communication skills. Joke books are a fun way to practice social skills and develop pragmatic language strength when working with children on the autistic spectrum, especially. The humor most kids enjoy often lies in their comprehension of the multiple meanings of words. Because children on the autistic spectrum find it difficult to interpret language when it is nuanced and heavily influenced by idiom or irony, spending time going through a joke book can be worthwhile. Another benefit from spending time with joke books is that doing so provides an opportunity for your client to become confident in their ability to tell a joke when it requires responses from others; knowing how to deliver a punchline, follow-through with a knock-knock joke, or when it's a good time to tell a joke at all are important communication skills. 

Title: Leo The Late Bloomer

Authors: Robert Kraus

Themes: Anxiety, Communication, Coping Skills, Developing Perspective, Parenting, Self-Esteem, Social Skills, Validation

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School 

Summary: Leo The Late Bloomer is the story of a little lion who develops at a slower pace than his peers. His dad is very worried about it, and his mom believes that he will simply grow into himself. Leo does attain all of the skills his father was so worried about by the end of the story and expresses pride in himself by exclaiming "I made it!"

Ideas / Interventions: This is a great, short book to read with young children and their parents. Oftentimes in a clinical setting, it is tempting to pathologize any delayed trait development. Not all aberrant behaviors have a trauma based etiology, however, and Leo is a great example of a kid who is just learning how to be himself. Leo's awareness of his differences from his peers is distressful to him and his parents help him manage those feelings well. 

Title: Big Ben

Author: Sarah Ellis

Themes: Communication, Parenting, Developing Empathy, Validation, Self-Esteem, Social Skills

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School 

Summary: Big Ben actually feels more like little Ben in this book. Ben is a preschooler who wishes he had more responsibility and status because his older siblings seem to enjoy school more than he does. Ben expresses his feelings to his parents and siblings, who validate him and find ways to include him in all the "big kid" activities. 

Ideas / Interventions:  like to use this book with kids who are struggling to develop empathy for others, whether within a family or in other social settings. The ways that Ben's family meet his needs are simple but meaningful. After reading this book and identifying ways that Ben's family helped him, and then talking about how much their efforts impacted his self esteem, have your client talk about things others do that help them feel good about themselves. Then help them set specific goals of what they can do for certain people between sessions. Start very small with this exercise. Kids who struggle to be kind to others are often victims of unkindness themselves, so being sensitive to that fact is important. 

Title: Don't You Feel Well,  Sam?

Author: Amy Hest

Themes: Anxiety, Parenting, Developing Empathy, Social Skills, Validation

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School

Summary: Don't You Feel Well, Sam? tells the story of Sam, a little bear with a big cold, who is afraid to take medicine. Sam's mom listens to his concerns, validates his feelings, and makes some accommodations in how he will take the medicine. Of course, Sam finds the courage to try and the story has a cute ending. 

Ideas / Interventions: I like using this book with kids for a couple of reasons. The first is that it presents a scenario that most kids can relate to, which is being required to do something they find unpleasant and learning how to manage their distress. For that reason, this is a good introduction to developing basic problem solving strategies for kids who struggle with anxiety. 

The second reason I like this book is because most kids can see right though it; it's too simple, too easy. Sam and his mom have a sweet relationship that should be modeled, but in real life, problems aren't usually solved as harmoniously as they are in this book. Reading this book is a great way to generate a discussion about realistic expectations for conflict resolution, managing frustration, and learning to compromise. 

Title: You Can Do It, Sam

Author: Amy Hest

Themes: Anxiety, Parenting, Self-Esteem, Developing Empathy, Social Skills

Age Recommendation: Pre-K through Elementary School

Summary: You Can Do It, Sam is a short, sweet story of Sam and his mom, who wake up early one winter morning to make and deliver treats for their neighbors. Sam feels worried about going to the door himself when they drop off the goodies, but his mom gently challenges him and encourages him to try. Sam is proud of himself for doing something hard and more confident in himself as a result.

Ideas / Interventions: I like to read this book with children who struggle with anxiety and self-esteem. Most kids can relate to the character of Sam and can identify times in their life when they have been afraid to do something. Engaging them in activities that allow them to walk out the pros and cons of trying something hard versus not trying something hard provides an opportunity for a discussion centered on developing strategies to manage their worries and overcome fears.